Just today....

So my daughter is almost 8 months old... Don't ya think I should be looking about the same as I did before the pregnancy!?! I cannot for the life of me get rid of the pooch. I haven't really worked out or anything, I'm hoping maybe it will just rid itself. HAHA Ya I wish! But seriously is it bad if I absolutely hate getting dressed every morning! Nothing fits right. I don't feel sexy anymore. I just feel blah. I really don't even feel pretty enough for Jarod most days. I hope I get over this. I'm sure I'm not the only Mom who feels this way.
I'm gonna get my hair done this weekend. I don't really have the money for it, but I don't give a damn, I need a fresh look. I always feel a little better after a haircut and color!!! Jarod is getting his haircut Friday, Thank god! It's getting a bit out of control! I like it long, but I'm sick of finding it everywhere!

Wow, I'm sooo bored today! This working part-time crap sure sucks! I mean I'm happy to spend all day with my daughter, but I get bored pretty easy! She is getting so close to crawling! She scoots, but she scoots backwards. I can't even lay her down anymore without her ending up on the other side of the room!haha My house isn't even baby proofed yet! I need a gate! I wonder if they have rubber corners for our coffee table? It's so crazy to me how big she is getting! She shows me something new about every other day! And she is soo smart! She catches on to things so fast!!! The only problem I'm having now is she still sleeps in her play-yard next to my bed, I can't sleep well when she isn't next to me, plus she rolls all over now, so she is always trying to sleep on her tummy when I put her in the crib! That scares the hell out of me! So I give in every night and let her sleep next to us! I know it's bad, but when I'm ready she can sleep wherever the hell she wants to! :)

Well she is up from her oh so short nap, by the way they are getting shorter and less frequent as she grows! Better go get her!

CABIN!

So this last weekend we took a trip to Driggs. Our friends Chissy and Scott invited us to their cabin. We took McKinley and they took their 3 boys.







It was tons of fun. It was nice to get a break from reality for a couple days. The cabin was off in the woods too so it felt like it was just us. Saturday night was a crazy night, I learned out to play pinochle! Me and Chrissy pretty much kicked butt!! LOL After the kids went down we played a good ol' game of Kings Cup! Chrissy and Scott cooked amazing food for us! She's such a good mommy :) When Sunday rolled around I didn't want to leave. It was almost too good to be true! I love Getaways like these.

Today...

So a friend of mine is moving this weekend to Colorado. I am kind of bummed about it, but it's a good thing for her. I wish I could get the hell out of here... I sure am gonna miss her, but I'm happy for her family. It's about 10:30pm and I'm so flippin bored. The baby and Jarod are both sound asleep. She went down at about 8:00, I'm crossing my fingers that she sleeps through the night! I guess if she does wake up, Jarod gets to wake up with her.. HEHEHEHE On a plus note, I took some very cute pictures of McKinley today.




I cannot wait for tomorrow, we are all headed to Driggs for the weekend with the Anderson family. It should be a good time. I'll post pictures when we get back Sunday!!! Guess I'll go join my family and go to sleep for the night!

The sadness that I feel

Following the Sullenger story, I can't help but feel sad. I didn't even know this little girl and feel as though she was like a daughter to me. Her funeral was yesterday, as much as I wanted to go I didn't have the courage to do it. I had cried all week for her, praying and asking god or whoever was listening to PLEASE let her stay. It makes me wonder why God has to take the young, the ones who weren't even given a chance to live their lives. It doesn't even seem fair to me.

I guess this story hit me so hard because now I too am a parent. I cannot even imagine life without my little girl in it. I feel so much sadness for the parents and grandparents. Going home to an empty house. Not being able to wake up to the smiles in the morning. It just breaks my heart. Preslee Sullenger touched so many people's hearts. She made me appreciate my family even more. I talked to God for the first time... I mean I actually sat down and prayed. I realized that families have to have some kind of higher power to believe in. Without some kind of faith or religion, you have nobody to turn to but yourselves. As I sit outside my house after hearing the news of her passing, I just sobbed. I had a range of emotions flow through me. ANGER, SADNESS, HAPPINESS. I was angry at God for taking her. I was Sad because I didn't think she was supposed to go. Last but not least Happy because after all the other emotions had passed I knew in my heart that she was in a better place, she had two loving parents, she had the love and support of hundreds.. Mostly strangers, And she had God who would show her unconditional love... She went peacefully. Looking up to the sky I noticed it looked different. I couldn't help but think that it was little Preslee Sullenger shining down on earth to let me and others know that she was going to be ok...

McKinley is so smart, she just started doing this last Sunday July 10th.

How it all started :)

It was my senior year of highschool. I was living in Saint Anthony, Id. That year I met Jarod. I knew right then that he was my soul mate. We had met through mutual friends. In fact I'm pretty sure he had a girlfriend at the time. Me and my friends tried like hell to break them up. Eventually it worked :) I remember quite clearly the night we had our first kiss. We had snuck into a half finished house. It was dark outside and it was just us two. I remember both of us being sooo shy, which if you knew us now you'd think different. Anyways as the night progressed I finally had to ask Jarod "Are ya gonna kiss me or what?" It was pretty funny, we have brought it up a few times since then. Later down the road we moved in together. I had never even lived with a boy before. I had no idea they were so messy :) But it was fun and I loved every minute of it. So as time went by we had both made mistakes, broke up, got back together. We cried, we laughed, and even disliked one another numerous times. We had many ups and downs. For 7 years we dated on and off.

Finally on June 12th, 2010 we decided to get married. Second best day of my life. We went to Vegas and had a simple wedding with close friends and family. Wasn't quite my dream wedding, but as long as I was going to be Mrs. Jarod Nef, I didn't care!

Now the Best day of my life and and the day my life officially started was the day I became a mother. On December 14th, 2009 at about 12:20pm my beautiful little girl was brought into this world. Weighing 7lbs 2oz and 19inches in length. She was absolutely perfect! McKinley Lynn Nef had finally came to meet me. And I was in love the second I saw her.
We knew she would be here that Monday, because I was scheduled for a c-section. She had been breech the entire pregnancy. I even had them try to turn her but that was unsuccessful. Might I suggest never having a version done. It was more painful then the actual recovery process. When I found out that I would probably end up having the c-section, I remember crying. I didn't want to be cut open. I wanted to know what it was like to have contractions, to actually go through labor, I wanted to be like the rest of my girlfriends and experience that. The morning of my c-section I remember sitting in the car with Jarod out in the hospital parking lot. I was sooo nervous. I almost didn't want to go in. But finally we made it through the doors. As I lay in the hospital bed IV in and waiting patiently for the Epidural part. I began to cry. I was scared out of my mind to have that needle placed into my back. The anesthesiologist finally showed up and with just me and Jarod in the room, Jarod held me and comforted me as I lay on my side crying. I'll admit it wasn't as bad as I thought, but it sure did hurt. I remember the feeling of my legs going numb and Jarod actually pinching them to see if I could feel it. It was a crazy feeling, I'll tell you what. After a few moments they wheeled me into the operating room. The anesthesiologist poked me with a needle on my stomach and legs. That is what I was told anyway, I couldn't see there was a big blue tarp thing in front of my face. I remember the pressure of them pulling McKinley out. But that is about all I felt. I remember yelling does she have Jarod's nose over and over again. In our ultrasound pics you could see her cute little Jarod nose. I just wanted to make sure she still had the same one I guess. They didn't let me hold her. I was too drugged up to be holding any baby. But they did let me look at her. I guess after that I was wheeled into the other room. I was pretty loopy, I don't think I ever even saw that black tar poop that newborns have. They finally got her checked and brought her into my arms. It was amazing. Jarod looked so proud. It was finally over. My little girl was here!

So that is a summary of my life in a nutshell.... I'll keep you updated on our lives in the near future :)