Today....

As I sit here, I can't decide if I should be mad anymore. We have had 5 suicides in this month. 5!!! I guess there is just too much sadness floating around this earth. I can't say that I don't know how they felt. I too have been down that long lonely road. I just never had the guts to follow through with it. It's almost as if you feel empty inside, as if, not a soul in the world cares for you. Nothing can fix your broken heart. I have felt so much sadness/anger today. Good people are gone, and not just this month, we've lost alot of GOOD PEOPLE. And at such young ages. This life is tough, I struggle everyday to get by. But I just look once at that beautiful little girl of mine and remember why I'm here... I've got sooo much to live for! I know these people are in a better place now. But it just breaks my heart that they needed to go so soon. It wasn't time!

Awhile back I decided to get a tattoo along my rib cage, it's a quote that I found and fell in love with... This was shortly after I had been feeling down and didn't think I needed to be here anymore. It goes "Celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing" I had overcome the sadness I was feeling. I was able to wake up and be glad that I was here on earth! It was as if I was given another chance. Something just hit me... I thought to myself, Ya know what I AM LOVED. AND I DO BELONG HERE. Thank god I made it through those hard times, I would of never had McKinley... She is my guardian angel. I know now that if everything falls to shit, I will always have her.. She keeps me alive! And I thank god she came to save me!